Fluffy Doom
by Lady of Many Masks
Summary: Voldemort learns of a new prophecy where he is defeated by 'Laughter and Fire'. Not sure what to make of it he does nothing, and Harry has a little fun. One shot. Rewritten.


A/N: I have rewritten my story and hope that you like it better than the original. Please review and let me know how you feel about it.

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><p>Voldemort stared at his followers.<p>

Voldemort's followers stared at him.

"Are you sure that's what the Seer said?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Voldemort snapped. "She said the my death would be by 'laughter and fire'."

"So you need to stop laughing?" Rockwood asked confused.

"And avoid fire," Bella said.

The Death Eater's were all thinking the same thing. 'What a pathetic way to die. Who would use such a thing?'

Harry and his friends stared at each other.

"Where have you been the past three weeks?" Hermione demanded. Harry grinned.

"Planning Voldemort's demise," Harry replied. Now he had everyone's attention.

"How?" They demanded.

"Not done yet." Harry said. "I'll let you know when I'm finished." Refusing to answer any more questions he retreated to the Room of Requirements.

Turning to face the small army of Puffskins Harry grinned.

"Mu," The fluffy pink, purple, blue, and green balls of fluff said.

"No," Harry said kneeling down. "Mu-ha-ha."

"Mu."

"Mu-ha-ha."

"Mu."

"Mu-ha-ha."

"Mu-ha."

"Mu-ha-ha."

"Mu-ha-ha." The Puffskins said.

"You've got it!" Harry said grinning. "Now say Voldemort!"

"Mu-ha-ha!" They replied.

"Voldemort!"

"Have you seen Harry?" Tonks asked Ron.

"No," Ron said tiredly. "He rarely comes out of the ROR."

"Wonder what he's working on," Tonks wondered.

"So do we all," Ron said looking at the door. "So what is the Order working on?"

"Well we are trying to capture any Death Eaters we can find...they seem to be avoiding fire for some reason...and attacking dragons." Tonks said a little bewildered.

"Dragons?" Ron said alarmed.

"Charlie's fine," Tonks assured Ron. "But he also seems to be...enraged. He's glaring at everyone and his left eye is twitching. The twins were planing on pranking him, but once they saw how angry he was, they left him alone."

"The _twins_?" Ron wasn't sure he had heard her correctly.

"Yes, the twins." Tonks said, still amazed that it was possible.

"Charlie must be absolutely raging then." Ron said a little pale. "Do you think that he'll go after the Death Eater's on his own?"

Tonks hesitated. "That's the second reason that I'm here..."

Charlie grinned nastily. Those Death Eater's were going to pay.

"Why are we~"

"~here again?" The twins asked quietly.

"To make them pay for raiding _my_ dragon ranch," Charlie said grinning madly like a goblin. The twins didn't say anything, but they were not sure that this was a good idea...

Bellatrix hummed to herself as she began to AK the fluffy Puffskins, kittens, puppies, small birds, and other living fluffy creatures. When only the Puffskins were still alive she could have sworn that she had killed at least five. Shrugging she cast the spell again. The Puffskin in question burped. Still alive. Still purring.

"It's immune to the killing curse!" She screeched horrified. Then she had to wonder if the Potter's had used the Puffskins in some kind of ritual in order to make sure the boy survived.

"Three," Fred counted down.

"Two," George said smirking.

"One," They finished before pushing a big red button. When Hermione had told them about the big red button they had to make one themselves. "Boom."

Several Death Eater's were caught in the blast, then, to everyone's confusion, it began to rain Puffskins. And dead baby animals. Fred and George each caught a puffskin.

"Mu-ha-ha," it said.

"What?" The three Weasley's stared at the Puffskin, who was purring, not sure if they had heard correctly. After all, Puffskins don't laugh evilly.

At the ministry Umbridge was cradling the body of on of several kittens the Dark Lord's servants had killed. In her office.

"You will be avenged," She told the kitten. "You will _all_ be avenged."

(A/N: Daily Prophet article)

UMBRIDGE FOUND CACKLING AFTER KILLING SEVERAL DEATH EATERS

by Milinda Rosemay

Yesterday Delores Umbridge was found killing several Death Eater's using the forbidden Killing Curse. When Aurors arrived on the scene they were unable to do anything with the amount of Killing curses flying through the air. Quotes from one bystander's likened the amount of green to Christmas lights. This reporter was told that it is a muggle thing.

"I thought that my neighbors were having some kind of Christmas party there was so much green light," One middle aged male told us.

"I thought that the war had started all over again," A shaky grandmother told us.

"The green light killed my son," A sobbing woman screamed at us. "I thought that the war was over!"

The most interesting quote was what Umbridge is reported to have said.

"I WILL AVENGE YOU MY PETS. NO MORE DEAD KITTIES ON MY WATCH!"

We remind everyone to keep a look out for Death Eaters and to be cautious. We do not know what they are looking for or why Umbridge was avenging dead kittens.

See page 14 for the lists of animals killed by DE's

See page 7 for the explosion causing dead animals to literally rain from the sky

See page 9 for the attack on dragon reserves

The twins watched Harry who was rather happy with the news they had brought him.

1-Puffskins are immune to the Killing Curse.

2-Puffskins are almost indestructible.

3-They brought him more Puffskins.

"So this is what you have been doing," They said in unison.

"Yep," Harry said handing each twin a soda pop bottle. "I plan on using them to drive Voldemort insane if I could just get them to say his name correctly." He turned to the Puffskins. "Voldemort." He said.

"Volt-mold!" The Puffskins replied. Harry thought for a while as the twins laughed so hard soda shot out of their noses. Not a pleasant experience.

"That will do," Harry said. Seems like Voldemort couldn't be said by Puffskins or they were smarter than they appeared and agreed that he didn't deserve the name. Or the twins were teaching them, but Harry was fairly certain that the two Weasley's hadn't gotten in here before today. However, he wasn't putting anything past them. Maybe he should work with them once the final battle was over. They seemed to enjoy his suggestions and it was fun. Shaking his head bemused Harry returned to the issue at hand. To get them to recognize people they had never met.

"You guys want to teach them how to recognize people while I train the Skewts?" Harry asked.

"It would be our pleasure," They said grinning like Cheshire cats. Then they paused. "You're training Skrewts?"

"Excellent." Harry said ignoring the question. Working with the twins made this _so_ much easier. Now he could train the Skrewts without having the younger generation of Puffskins follow him around like ducklings. It was really cute. Even when they became old enough to laugh evilly. However, it was also more distraction than he needed.

The Twins asked the ROR to create a dummy of the Dark Lord and the room didn't disappoint. The dummy was incredibly life-like. "Voldemort." He said pointing to it.

"Volt-mold!" The Puffskins repeated.

"Now to find out how to train them..." Harry said thoughtfully once the Puffskins had learned to identify several people. As cute and unkillable as they were he needed something with more firepower thus the Skrewts he was trying to train.

A book popped into existence on a nearby desk. Harry grinned savagely. The Puffskins tried to smile mimic him. Harry stared at them.

"We're going to have to work on that..." Harry said. "And the color just doesn't quite work either."

"We'll work on the smile," the twins promised.

Harry saluted them then walked to the enclosure that held the Skrewts. The twins would never know how he trained those blasted things, and they wanted nothing to do with them.

The Death Eater's hated the ward that was up. But it was necessary. After angering that blasted fire bird they now had to have a very special ward to keep him out. Hopefully he would have a burn-day soon and they could do something. But for now, the Death Eater's and the Dark Lord of the century were stuck inside Riddle Manor.

All because of one blasted bird.

Harry dropped a black rose into the potion and stirred seven times counter-clockwise.

"This had better be worth it," He said pouring the potion into several ready potion bottles.

"Don't worry~"

"~Harry dear," The twins said happily. "This will work wonderfully." The room had supplied the twins with the recipe. They tried it out on spiders. The obscenely bright spiders were a new Weasley product. To ensure that they didn't get loose the twins had made sure to charm the cages and were pleasantly surprised when the baby spiders retained their parents coloring.

"Good, otherwise I would set a Skrewt on you," Harry said walking over to the bathtub.

Turns out they loved taking baths. Lucky for him really. Made applying the potion easier. The fluffy pink, purple, blue, and green Puffskins jumped up and down with delight when they had realized they were going to take a bath purring and 'Mu-ha-ha'ing. If someone else had been watching they would not have believed what they were seeing. To the trio it was rather adorable.

The trio had used the potion to change the color of the Puffskins to black, red, white, and a pale green. The amount of variation in those colors was rather interesting.

"Now you can look terrifying." Harry said satisfied. Then he proceeded to teach the Puffskins to chuckle evilly while grinning manically. The twins enjoyed helping. They were going to recruit Harry as a co-inventor for their shop. No was not an answer they were willing to take.

~ Two months later ~

Harry led his friends into the Great Hall to show them what he and the twins had been working on where they watched as fluffy puffballs attacked Snape and called both Dumbledore and Fudge names.

"Bumblebee!"

"Moron!"

"Idiot!"

"Child Abuser!"

"Candy!"

"Sparkler!"

"Senile!"

"Bum!"

"Gnome!"

"Dursley!"

"Thief!"

"Politician!"

The ones in front of the minister and headmaster yelled. The ones attacking Snape were paying a great deal of attention to his hair. Apparently Snape wasn't very clean. He passed out fairly quickly from laughter after the small tongues tickled him into submission.

This bore looking into the twins and Harry noted.

"MAKE THEM SHUT UP!" Fudge bellowed, his face looking a great deal like Vernon.

"Mu-ha-ha," Harry said knowing that the Puffskins like to laugh evilly more than insult people. The Puffskins, the others could now see what they were, stopped.

"Mu-ha-ha." The Puffskins said.

"Their vocabulary has expanded a lot," Harry said proudly.

"You corrupted them!" Hermione exclaimed appalled.

"We resent that," the twins said.

"No," Harry replied. "I improved them. Imagine what they'll do to Voldemort's people." He said happily. Those listening, not Fudge or any ministry member, stared at Harry like he was mad.

"They'll kill them!" Hermione screeched.

"They're pretty indestructible." Harry said. "Can't be AK'd either."

"How did you find out?" Hermione asked horrified.

"Fred and George saw someone try to AK them." Harry replied.

"Are you sure about this?" Dumbledore asked wondering about the sanity of his weapon, after all, they were _Puffskins_.

"If it doesn't work then Fred and George can sell them." Harry replied. Fred and George grinned manically. The Puffskins mirrored the twins and chuckled evilly. "I plan on working with them after this thing is finished."

Dumbledore frowned slightly. He needed Harry to die since he was a horcrux. "Harry, I have something that I need to tell you." He said gravely.

Snape quickly walked into Voldemort's lair. He _needed_ to get away from those evil little things. They were _everywhere_ and they kept following him. Pausing Snape didn't _think_ that the little devil spawn could follow portkeys...but who really knew with Potter as a teacher.

He didn't even know that Puffskins could _say_ anything. All they did was purr!

Harry was tempted to set his Skrewts free and command them to destroy everything. How could Dumbledore keep something like that from him. Curled up on one of the chairs in the ROR Harry was covered in Puffskins that were purring, trying to comfort him.

"What did the old fake tell you?" Fred asked sitting on one side of Harry and George on the other.

"I'm a horcrux," Harry told them emotionlessly. "I have a piece of Voldemort's soul in me."

The twins were quiet, not sure what to say about that.

"I have to die. A sacrifice," Harry continued bitterly.

"Says who?" Fred asked. Harry looked up at him.

"Dumbledore says that the only way to destroy a horcrux is to destroy the container. The books say the same thing," Harry said waving at the piles of books in the room.

"Then we'll find a way to remove the piece of soul then destroy it and you live." George said simply.

"How?" Harry asked.

"We _are_ in the ROR." Fred pointed out.

"I'm an idiot aren't I?" Harry said after a moment.

"More like in shock told by someone you shouldn't trust that you had no choice but to die," George replied.

"Why shouldn't I trust him?" Harry asked them.

"He left you to be~"

"~abused by your relatives even after~"

"~you told him about it~"

"~and then he left the stone were~"

"~it could be stolen by~"

"~a bunch of first years~"

"~and he should have known~"

"~about Quirrel and where the Chamber was~"

"~and he didn't insist that Sirius~"

"~get a trial~"

"Alright," Harry interrupted the twins. "I get it, where do we start?"

"By contacting Bill and Charlie. They'll know what to do."

Bill and Charlie were stunned when they received the letter from Harry and the twins.

"I can't believe that the Headmaster kept this a secret from him." Bill said. "Do you have any idea what this could do to a child?!"

"No, but I still want to kill him for it." Charlie replied.

Fred and George locked up for the night, they wondered if their new security system would work as planned. Hopefully no one tested it while they were out gathering ingredients for the ritual needed to remove the soul fragment from Harry's body. But it would be interesting to see what they returned to if someone did.

Lucius and his group moved quickly. They didn't know how long the twins would be away and they needed to get rid of the Puffskins in their shop. Apperating inside the shop the Death Eaters began looking for the small fluffy creatures. One of the DE's slipped and fell. Lucius turned around to find small ping pong balls all over the place. They couldn't take a step without falling. Then spells started flying changing the color of the DE's robes.

"What on Earth?!"

The ping pong balls then began changing colors and levitating or rolling.

Fred and George had enchanted the ping pong balls to follow a specific color. The color of the ping pong balls determined what they did.

Pink followed pink and shot tickling charms at their targets.

Blue ping pong balls were enchanted to roll around in circles around the victim crying hysterically.

Red ping pong balls used a spell to extract memories of embarrassing moments and then shout them out like a howler.

Purple ping pong balls had battering hexes on them leaving the target with small, painful bruises anywhere they hit.

Green ping pong balls scream and whale and are very sticky. Once they hit you they don't come off easily.

The Death Eater's never stood a chance.

Harry looked under the bed two weeks after Bill and Charlie had sent him the ritual needed to remove the soul fragment from his soul. He and the twins had worked hard for this moment.

"Mu-ha-ha," he said.

"Mu-ha-ha," A white puffskin said.

"Just in time for school to start," Harry said grinning. After dividing half of his forces there were still plenty of Puffskins to give to Fred and George in addition to releasing several in the castle. Along with other places.

The Daily Prophet had an interesting title the next day. Harry took the paper from his owl in the Potter mansion. Unplotable and untraceable it was perfect for the chosen-one. Looking at the Daily Prophet Harry laughed hard. Feeling freer than he had in his life the Hogwarts graduate leaned back in his chair.

(A/N: the article in the Daily Prophet)

PUFFSKINS CAUSE MASS CHAOS

By: Wendy Wandz

Puffskins are loveable pets for Wizarding children all over the world. These loveable creatures purr and are one of the favorite pets of all times. Until September first.

On a day that is usually a day of joy for eleven year old wizards and witches as they go to Hogwarts for the first time. On this day screams were heard as the Puffskins evilly laughed, chuckled while grinning evilly, stalked students, and insulted the Headmaster.

Medi-witch Pomfrey ran out of calming droughts for the poor students.

The insanity does not stop there.

Puffskins were seen in several places all over the world. The Minister of Magic has attempted to coral the small fluffy creatures and has failed. No one knows what to do with the small terrors.

DARK LORD'S MYSTERIOUS DEATH

by Vinson Blake

Rumor has it that flame breathing Puffskins killed the Dark Lord that day. Several Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestringe and Lucius Malfoy, were found half burned and dead with expressions of horror on their faces. Severus Snape, who Dumbledore declared as a spy for light, was found curled up in a corner mad. Various red, black, white, and green colored Puffskins were found on the sight.

The Dark Lord was found in three separate pieces with what appears to be the remains of a golden cup, a diadem, a diary, a locket, his large snake, a odd ring along with what appears to be a ritual circle for cleansing the soul. No one knows what happened and the Aurors are bewildered as to the events that led to the Dark Lords demise.

Things unlike anyone has ever seen or heard along with large crab-like creatures that spit fire without a head and have a large stinger. No one knows what they are and it is advised for you to run. Run as fast as you can and avoid them like You-know-who.

MINISTRY OF MAGIC TAKEN OVER

By Wendy Wandz

September second will go down in history. The Minister of Magic, Fudge, is screaming at the press that Harry Potter, the boy who lived, created 'the monstrous fluff balls' responsible for the Dark Lord's death. As such, he is calling for the arrest of Potter.

Oddly enough Dumbledore is also calling for the arrest of Potter declaring that the now Hogwats graduate has a piece of You-know-who's soul inside of him. When asked about it Potter submitted to an exam where no such piece was found.

A few minutes after the warrant for Potter's arrest the Ministry was taken over by Potter who delared loudly, "I've had enough!"

Dumbledore is now in Azkaban for child neglect and endangerment. Fudge has been impeached and his undersecretary, Umbridge, has been sentenced to Azkaban for using blood quills, which have been banned as dark objects for centuries, on students during her time at Hogwarts.

(A/N: Daily Prophet is over)

~One year later~

Harry sighed happily. Business with the twins was good and the new Puffskins had become rather popular once everyone got over their terror of the sweet creatures. But the Skrewts were still his.

The Ministry was being run well, for once, and no one trying to kill him. Life was good. Leaning back Harry sighed happily again.

"Mu-ha-ha," A nest full of Puffskins said next to Harry. Life was good.


End file.
